the things i learned this week, when i discovered i'm far more like a 2 year-old than i would have ever thought before

Starting back to school hasn't been anywhere nearly as treacherous as I'd built up in my head.  When we discovered that Summer Vacation was going to be cut short, I feared that its end would be brutal, and abrupt.  So much so, in fact, that I nearly made it so.  But, now that the worst has happened, and Summer Vacation went and ended on us, I've been struck with what, if I didn't know any better, seems to be...dare I say, relief?

OK.  So, I need to break that one down and do some analyzing, here.  What, exactly, am I relieved about?

I think I'm mostly enjoying that annual rush I get once school starts, where I revel in the enjoyment of being back on a schedule again.  Because, when it's all said and done, I'm really no better than a toddler on this one.  I cry, and cry, and cry about not getting my way, and being forced into an established sense of order that is in contrast to my need to be free!  And play!  And enjoy!

But, once the establishment takes over, I find that things aren't all that bad, after all.  Like the toddler, I blink my wet eyes, look around, and realize I'm OK.  In fact, I find that I enjoy my time that much more.  I feel a satisfying sense of accomplishment at the end of each day, that I didn't feel when we'd spend a day at the beach.  Sure, I'd go to bed fulfilled, because how could I not after relaxing all day to the melodic sounds of crashing waves.  But now, after a day has been spent accomplishing so many weighty things on my school-year to do list, I really think I go to bed smiling more deeply.

So, what I think I prove to myself is this:  As much as I love taking a break, and as much as I love abandoning the pressure of juggling tight schedules, homework demands, AR tests, carpools, and classroom volunteer work, it is in the midst of all that hard work that I end up gaining the most fulfillment.  It's in the hard work that I see us grow.  It is in the hard work that we glow in the reward of accomplishment.

I can so apply this to Crisis, when it enters my life.  I don't like it, but from it and through it, I grow.  And so does the rest of my family.

So gone is my need to shy away from the hard stuff starting back up again.  Gone is my need to groan, and complain, and wish that we were back at the beach.  We are back doing what we do, and after the wonderful Summer Break we enjoyed, we are all rested, and ready to tackle the things that are set before us.

We can at least make it to Labor Day.