Shape Shifting

This has been a summer full of kids' comings and goings.  We haven't had all 5 kids sleeping under the same roof at the same time in about a month, and even then it's only been a few days this whole summer.  As I count, I think we've only had 9 days with 7 occupied beds.  No, wait.  Six occupied beds.  Hugo and I share, don't we.  But, you get the point.  Gone are the days of old when I had all my babies regularly tucked in a row.

In my last post, I wrote about how I had spent many years without much of an identity outside my family.  Gone are those days, too.

This week, Lee has been with his dad.  This is a first for him.  He has never had one-on-one time with his dad like this.  Ever.  He was so excited for this week, and so ready to do this.  He was a little nervous, too, but heck.  So was I.

Even with my life being all chuck full of purpose, and my schedule filling up at an overwhelming rate at times, even with all the work I have to do this week, I still crave the simplicity of having my little boy on my lap.  Tucking him in at night.  Watching him jump on the trampoline.  Listening to him hum.

And I reserve the right to not like this thing at all.  This thing where he, along with his siblings, are subjected to the emotional torment of always having a parent they miss.  This isn't natural, it isn't how parenthood was designed, but yet it's where we are.

So, I accept it.  I can't change it.  And I trudge along, as best I can.  We trudge along, as best we can.

This week, I'm working on developing major changes to this blog, and expanding it in such a way as to make future ginormous changes possible.  Changes in the direction I've envisioned for this venture for a few years now.  That is exciting.

This week I am also working on an article for Life in L.A. that is centered around events taking place at the world-famous Grauman's Chinese Theater.  This has been fun.  This morning, I interviewed Alwyn Hight Kushner, Producer, and Director of Operations at Grauman's Chinese Theater.  Fascinating lady. Her father is Don Kushner, producer of such films as both Tron movies, and the Charlize Theron movie, Monster.

This week I am reading a book for Life in L.A., and will be writing a review.  The book was written by a woman in her 80's!  I'm only on page 6, but I can tell already that I'm going to like the book.  I like her style.  And I like having to read a book, and calling it work.

Tomorrow I will post an article in this blog that is centered around the death of one of Abi's school friends.  The piece will be about our kids who are left behind to grieve, and how we as parents can help them through this tragedy.  With this article, I have gathered statements and stories from 3 separate people.  This isn't something I usually do for a blog post, so this has been a challenging departure.  I went all local journalist on myself.  I kind of liked it.

Lee will be home Friday, and Hugo and I are counting the hours.  In the meantime, we have work to do, right?  But, sharing my angst with my readers always helps.  Thank you for your part in my healing and recovery.  I love you so much.