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Thursday, May 17, 2012

Expansion

OK, my sweet family and friends.  I need to share something with all of you, and I need to admit that I am being pretty vulnerable, here.

A year ago I started this Blog, and I have been touched deeply by the love and support I have received from so many of you, the people I love the most in this world.  You have affirmed me, allowed me to put my most ugly confessions out there, and you have cheered me on when I've shared the triumphs my family and I have enjoyed.

When I started my Blog, I started it with more than one goal in mind.  One, I needed to write.  It's how I process my thoughts and feelings.  Another, was to communicate with the many Life Friends and distant relatives I love so much, but yet don't get to connect with on a day-to-day basis.  I needed to bring you all in on what's going on in my ever-changing life.

But, by far the biggest goal I had, when I started my Blog, was to be a voice for families in Crisis due to divorce, addiction, death of a family member, financial strains, abuse, or anything else that might threaten the health and development of a family.

When I discovered that my then-husband had been having a sexual affair with a woman from work, I was completely blind-sided.  The air was squeezed out of my body.  The ground under my feet was turned into a black pit of quicksand, and I sank down to the bottom.  And I wasn't alone.  I had 4 young children with me.  We were suffocating, and we were without ground.

So we began to climb out.  In that climb, we learned much about what it is that happens to a family when they are too dysfunctional to grow.  Too dysfunctional to thrive.  Too dysfunctional to find their feet, let alone solid ground onto which they can plot out the journey of their life.

Prior to all this, I lived in a sweet little bubble, completely unaware as to why it was that those people, the ones who are in Crisis, act the way they do.  Why do they have kids who act out?  Why is there so much disrespect?  How can a mother leave her kids on their own, while she pursues an addiction to work, or seeking an identity, or even attention from other men?  I judged that woman.  That family.  Until it was me.  And my family.

My eyes are open now.  And with deep humility, I no longer judge.

So, I write.  I write so I don't forget.  I write so others understand.  And I suppose, so I understand, as I still continue to process everything.  And I write so that I can reach out to an audience who is in that black pit.  I want to be available to people who are reaching up, to get out.

This is where I get vulnerable.  Since I've slowly developed by Blog, I haven't been aggressive at all, in  reaching Followers.  I love my 30 Followers, and my regular readers for being so supportive and affirming.  But as I branch out and seek a wider audience, I need the help of my family and dear friends.  Please share me with your friends, and your family.  If you have a Blog, could you please give me a little shout-out?  A little mention?  And can you follow me on Twitter?  I just got a Twitter account, and I love my 3 followers, but I'd kinda like to have more.  :)

And I know that as I get more Followers, and readers, they will see this post, and I will look like a total dork!  But, I am a total dork, so getting seen as who I really am is the price I have to pay for being transparent.  But, it's a price worth every bit of embarrassment, if it promotes my cause, and I'm able to reach people who could identify with my life.

I love you all so much.  Thank you.

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