A day doesn't go by, that I'm not reminded of the reality of Family Crisis in our world, as I see it rear it's ugly head all over the place. The other night, in fact, I ran into one of my favorite little spots in Glendora, just at the base of the Village. The dollar store. You never know what you're going to get, but whenever I go in, I give my bargain hunting high a fresh hit.
There was a mom in there with her young children. What is it about young moms with their little ones that get at my heart? The newness? The hope? The joy? The little family seemed extra darling to me for some reason, and I enjoyed hearing their helium high voices as they shopped with their mommy.
As it turned out, they ended up in line after me. Then the mom realized she forgot band-aids, and leaving her pre-school aged little boy in line, she went to the bandage aisle to get a box (it's a very small store--she was within ear-shot). The little boy started to get nervous about the line progressing, so I offered him encouragement that there were a lot of people ahead of him, and that his mom would get back in plenty of time.
He was a chatty little guy. "My dad took all of the Band-Aids," he said. I laughed. "It's OK," I replied, "Your mom is getting more." Then, he added a bit of information that cut me to my core, as he took me from a mindset of the family simply picking up needed supplies, to a darker reality. "I can't have my dad living with me anymore."
My heart sank. He was so honest. So real. So matter-of-fact. He looked up at me with such innocent eyes. Eyes that don't deserve to be the windows to a soul that is being put through the torment of everything at home being turned upside down.
All I could offer him was, "I'm sorry, Honey. That happens sometimes."
The mom came back to the line, and before I knew it I was handing her a piece of paper with my blog address scribbled on it. I told her I'd been admiring her family. And I told her what her little boy said to me. I told her that I wanted to offer her hope that she will make it. That I have been where she is right now. That there is life on the other side. The cashier called me for my turn, and I was gone, but not without one last knowing glance as I walked out.
I've thought about her a lot. About her little boy, about all of her kids, and about all of that sweet and tender energy dancing around their mommy as they shopped. I've prayed for them.
Do I notice these things because they are everywhere, or do I notice them because it's a world my eyes are now opened to? A world for which my heart bleeds?
My mom called me a couple of days ago telling me about a movie she and my dad saw twice over the weekend. She saw it with each of my two sisters, and she said my brother saw it in Minnesota as well. It was a movie I hadn't heard of. A Christian movie made by the good people who brought you Fireproof with Kirk Cameron. The movie is called Courageous.
You gotta just bless the little hearts of Christian movie makers. As much as it pains me to say it, Christian movies just tend to be cheesy. But, my mom told me that this one had such a compelling and real story, that it was easy for her to bypass the cheesiness, and go for the good. A lot of good, in fact. So much so, that she was calling to insist (INSIST!!) that Hugo and I go right away to see it. That night, in fact. It has been in theaters for a while now, and is only at a select few as it is. She feared that if we put it off, we'd miss our chance.
I looked on line, and the only showing near us was at 10:20. I have a hard enough time sitting through a movie at prime time without falling asleep, let alone a two hour movie that doesn't even start until 10:20. But I agreed, went to the dollar store for candy to smuggle in (maybe the adrenaline of getting away without having to pay theater prices for snacks will keep me awake), and after taking a nap next to Lee at his bedtime (when I discovered a rash on his face and arms, but that's another story), Hugo and I headed out the door for a late date night.
Hugo said he wanted to get there in time to see the previews of "Fireproof II...The Reckoning," but it appears that there is no such movie, so we had to settle for...well, to be honest, I can't remember any of the previews. I was already starting to get sleepy. So I popped in a bite sized Milky Way.
OK. So, the movie had its share of lame attempts at not being cheesy, but really? By far amongst the best Christian movies yet. Second only to Soul Surfer.
We were touched deeply by the message. The obvious message of our need, in society, to see our dads step up and father their children. It portrays varying dads, with different styles and backgrounds, as they take on the demands of fatherhood with a serious look onto what's at stake.
What's that line Keanu Reeves says in the movie Parenthood? Well, here. Unless you're sensitive to profanity, just take a look here.
So many of the ills of society would be wiped away, if fathers really fathered. And it's not to get us moms off the hook. Sometimes we have a situation when we see that the fathers of our children can not only not father them properly, but we find that they do our children more harm than good. In a case such as this, we as moms have a huge responsibility to take action and make changes.
Those of us who have wonderful men fathering our children need to let them do what they do, without interfering. The role of the dad is different from the role of the mom. We need to stick to our own job, take it seriously, and do it well.
I sincerely hope that this is what that young mom is doing for her babies. I hope that now that the Dad and the Band-Aids are gone, she is reaching out to the resources available to her. Sometimes it's hard to find them--it was for me. But unfortunately, it isn't hard to find a woman who has walked in your shoes before you. Hopefully, you can find one who is healthy, who has worked her hiney off to bring function into her home, and into the lives of her children. Go to her. Learn from her.
If not, call me. Write me. Message me. This is why I'm here. I will offer you support, and any resources I can to get you and your children to a better place.
And for everyone else, if you are interested in boosting your parenthood powers and have 2 hours, go see Courageous before its run in the theaters expires. Know it won't be winning any Academy Awards, but what it lacks in movie finesse, it more than makes up for in message, and in getting a much needed point across. There are even some side-splitting funny parts, which is an amazing find in Christian movies.
"Limonada!"
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