Not Quite a Honeymoon in Italy

When Hugo and I got married, our plan was to honeymoon to Italy.  We knew we couldn't do it right away, between work and the kids' school schedules.  Our plan was to find a house in late spring/early summer of last year, close escrow by early-to-mid-summer, move in, settle the kids, and then head out to a land flowing with wine and lasagna.  Passports in hand, all we needed was to see the details of our plan play out, so that we could make travel arrangements.

It was a beautiful plan.

Let's just say the California housing market didn't agree.  And after a very long, drawn-out process the bank decided that they liked our Italy money more than we did.  So Italy is in our house--the price we have to pay to live in Los Angeles County, I suppose.

So, what's a newlywed couple to do when they didn't get a honeymoon?  Especially when the groom inherited 5 kids and needs a vacation?  Especially when said groom did take a week off in February, but spent it taking care of the kids so the wife could take off to Maui for a girls' only trip?

They make lemonade from lemons.

The lemons aren't just not being able to go to Italy.  Today my ex-husband took three of the kids with him on vacation for 10-11 days.  This is nothing short of a big deal for me, as I'm not a let-the-kids-go kind of mom.  I'm more of a keep-the-kids-at-home kind of mom.  I am with them all the time.  I seldom to never feel Like I need a break.  My grandma never took a break.  My mom never took a break.  It's just not what we do.  (Except for Maui...that was a FIRST!!)

So, while the kids are away, the parents will play.  And drink lemonade.  Of course, we still have 2 college kids at home, but that aside, we're outta here Friday for a few days of mini-vacation.

It's kind of nice to anticipate.  I've been dreading the kids leaving for weeks.  I woke up with a knot in my stomach this morning, tears on the surface since Sunday.  But they drove off, and I survived.

Knowing my nature to freak-out over things like this, Hugo took today off.  In fact, he took the next 11 days off...the whole time they're gone.

It is helping.  Not that I ever subscribe to the mindset that it is best to look the other way, or not focus on the bad stuff.  Hardly.  But sometimes, we can't control the bad situations when they arise, and we are given a choice to either accept them, or stay in a perpetual state of freak-out mode.  I choose the former.  My children have another father.  No matter how difficult the relationship may be with him, he is still their dad and he needs to be a part of their life.

And I have a new marriage to grow.  Because the health of our family really hinges on the health of Hugo's and my marriage.

We will be going up Lafayette, California.  Hugo's sister Olivia and her husband Scott live up there, and they have offered their guest room.  We will base out of their house for a few days and take day outings to San Francisco, as well as wine country.  We'll spend Independence Day at their house--they're having a party.  Beyond that, we will stay flexible.  We have family staying with the college girls, so their transportation needs will be met.  We'll be free of the responsibilities we have had immediately in our marriage, enjoying a time to be carefree.

It might not be Italy, but it's what we have, and we'll take it.