Danielle's Story

There are so many of my friends from my previous lives who know very well that I gave birth to Tessa--now 19, Adam--who will be 17 in August, Abi--my 13 year-old, and Lee--the 6 year-old.

I have an announcement to make:  It's a Girl!!!  I had another child after coming back to California 5 summers ago.  And she's a beautiful brown-haired, brown-eyed...19 year-old.

Her name is Danielle.

When we came back to California, we arrived just days before school was to start.  Tessa entered the 9th grade and went to Chino High.  She knew nobody, had recently moved from rural Nebraska to Southern California, she had been home schooled most of her life, and was joining a campus whose student body size was close to the population of her Nebraska town.  It was a little intimidating.

Tessa met Danielle, a quiet girl who seemed to have no close connections with any school friends either.  They naturally attached themselves to each other--Tessa's first friend.  I was elated.

Their friendship progressed and Danielle eventually came to our house to hang out, or even sleep over.  She was immediately loved by our entire family, and even by my parents and sisters.

As her level of comfort with us increased, and her time spent with us became more frequent, she started sharing a little bit about her life.  First, that she lived in a house with her mother's brother and sister (neither married), and that her parents lived in an apartment built into the garage behind the house.  She didn't have to dramatically reveal that her father had a drinking problem, as he was frequently drunk when I'd stop by to pick her up or drop her back off at home.

Her mother had had mental breakdowns so severely that Danielle was sent away during junior high to live with friends of their family.  While living there, she endured verbal and emotional abuse, and never felt included as a member of that family, but rather as an intrusion due to the disappointing behavior of her parents in the eyes of these friends.  Timid and lonely, Danielle moved back home in the summer before high school.

She was again subjected to a home environment saturated in alcohol and drug abuse, with extreme tension between her uncle and father.  Fights would ensue, resulting in visits from the police.  After one such episode, Danielle called me to go and pick her up.  It wasn't long after that that her parents agreed to have her come and live with me.  As wildly dysfunctional as they are, they both knew that theirs wasn't an environment that was safe for Danielle.

That was 2 years ago.

Danielle's birth parents have taken big steps back, away from involvement in Danielle's life.  Last summer she asked Hugo and me to be her parents.

Not only have Hugo and I pledged our hearts to her, to raise her and be her parents for life, but both of our families have joined in on the love, just as aggressively.  My mom, sisters, and I gave her her first-ever birthday party when she turned 17, and we all go out of our way to offer her experiences every little girl should have, that she sadly missed out on.  There have been s'mores while camping, and long card games at the table on weekends in Big Bear.  We're trying to teach her how to ride a bike...:)

Since I've married Hugo, the Ambriz' have joined in on the fun, with sleepovers, shopping trips, Thursday dinners to die for, an ELABORATE Halloween costume last year, and even a day spent horseback riding.

But, mostly we're giving her spirit an opportunity to heal.  We're letting her share about painful childhood memories as we cry with her, and we are facilitating the building of a beautiful future for her, as we live out our future together.

She is a student at Citrus College, and she is thriving.  Today she went to LA to a museum with 2 friends from school.  She is learning how to live life as a functional girl with a family that is committed to her, and will do all that we can to see her succeed.

I think she looks like my mom's side of the family, and she has curls like Tessa.  She looks like a typical Irish/Portuguese girl raised by a white mom and Mexican dad.  :)

She's a typical California girl.