Lately, I have found myself reminiscing my darkest days in Crisis. Well, not just my darkest days in general, but a specific memory.
I remember back to 2007, driving home from work every day. I would drive past a special hospital with a soothing and peaceful name for people needing rest.
Frequently, as I would drive past this hospital, I would fantasize pulling on in, and staying for a few days. The idea of a bed of my own, in a quiet room, with meals brought to me on a tray was so attractive, that I even got a little rest just dreaming about it.
My life at that time was spiraling out of control. I had kids with problems at school, who were acting out in their pain. I had financial stresses that completely overwhelmed me, and no idea how I would be able to support my children and myself in a lifestyle that would be stable. The needs list would grow longer each week, yet my answers list seemed short of solutions, and my energy was spent.
Whenever I would try and get myself to a point of being able to get centered, there would be another obstacle thrown into our course that would throw me off balance. Again. I just needed everything to stop, already, so I could get my life figured out.
In Crisis Recovery, I see many women who identify with my memory of wanting to get away for a while. And when we think about it, are there not a lot of women who would love nothing more than a break or rest from Life once in a while, even if they aren't in Crisis? Retreats, girls' days/nights out, even a staycation, if it doesn't involve the normal stresses of life.
I remember a fantasy I used to have when we lived in the country in Nebraska. This was before our family fell apart, and when we lived in a farmhouse with no air conditioning, no satellite TV, and only one bathroom, with just a bathtub and no shower. When it was the middle of summer, hot, and life seemed more overwhelming, I would fantasize going down to Gothenburg for a day or two, and staying at the Super 8 Motel. I'd have my own bed, my own TV, air conditioning, and a quiet, hot shower. Never once did I come through for myself on that fantasy, and as I look back I wonder if I would have been more healthy as a woman, if I had.
But, we can't always get away, and checking ourselves into a hospital might not be practical, and it would probably be overkill. But, what if we find ways to simply practice moments of rest each and every day?
Last night I was with a group of women and I challenged them all to try and take 10-15 minutes out of their morning each day this week to sit by a window with a pretty view, and just stare outside. Relax your mind, allow your body to loosen its tension, and just fix your eyes on something pretty and peaceful. That time of daily solitude could be a great way to start the day. When I practice this discipline, my day goes better. I feel more centered.
If we're feeling particularly saucy, we could even schedule a solitude/relaxation destination. My Nebraska peeps know this all too well, except that they wrap their work around beauty and solitude. I might add that the pace and lifestyle there is far less tense than it is in the Los Angeles area. But those of us in So Cal can sure take their example and find a place to find soul rest. Maybe a walk on the beach? Maybe a stroll through a downtown Village? Maybe a trip up to the mountains?
What do you do to find peace and solitude?
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