No Tips, No Tricks

It is my pleasure to introduce Mr. John Deyo, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, and newest contributor to Wings Like Eagles.  

John and I met at a conference for Crisis Recovery leaders.  Through countless conversations since, we have enjoyed our likemindedness and common vision.  In a short time, I have found John to be a valued friend, and one from whom I can gain much insight and wisdom.  

John will be writing a column titled Mind and Soul.  Today, we will get to know him, and discover what his  contribution to Wings Like Eagles will be, and even what it will not be.

Hi, I’m John Deyo.  I am a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist practicing in San Dimas, California.  I work primarily with adult individuals and couples and am well acquainted with crisis and trauma both professionally and personally.  I count it an honor and privilege to be able to share with you via Wings Like Eagles.  

I currently write a blog called Metaphoria that is linked to my professional website johndeyo.com.  That blog is based on my own love of metaphors and their usefulness in thinking about life.  I may include some of those pieces here, but also want to write from a more personal perspective for Wings Like Eagles.  

I want to avoid writing as though I’m the big expert dispensing tips and tricks for healthy living.  For one thing, I don’t see myself as the “big expert” (though that is a tempting mask to hide behind).  Beside that, there are already many other credible sources for advice and information on dealing with issues such as depression.  

I am open to your input on what would feel helpful for you the reader.  Let me know if you have specific questions or suggestions for topics you might like me to address.  Mostly I hope to provide hopeful and honest perspective on Crisis, pain and suffering that will feel respectful and supportive.

As a therapist people regularly ask me “How can you stand to listen to people’s problems all day?”  It’s a fair question.  Admittedly, not everyone could stand to sit in the seat of the therapist, counselor, psychologist, pastor, or social worker listening to embattled couples, demoralized parents, abandoned spouses, and wounded souls of all sorts disclose their deepest fears, pains, and frustrations.  But some of us can.  I could just as easily ask “How can you stand to figure income taxes, perform colonoscopies, or coddle fussy-baby latte sippers all day?”  I couldn’t.  I don’t have the skills, interest or tolerance for those and a thousand other jobs.  My vocation, my calling, my gifting is mine and I have no doubt that my own unique life struggles, suffering, and God’s grace have equipped me to sit with people in pain.  This is often the greatest gift of help we can give.  (Shhh, don’t tell anyone because if too many people figure this out, I will be out of a job.)

I am just a fellow traveler who is in the process of learning to live and love more authentically and effectively.  I have been blessed to receive training and experience that enable me to provide practical help and I count it a sobering privilege and responsibility to do so.  I struggle just like every human soul and I do not do it all right, just because I have acquired special knowledge about psychology and relationship dynamics.  My marriage is not perfect, my relationships with my children are not perfect, and I am certainly far from perfect in any other sense of that word.  That disclaimer made, I believe that I have something to offer by way of hope and insight and that I have both a gift and a calling to the vocation of counselor.  I am more than happy to share what I have learned and I offer it tentatively, knowing that what has helped me or some other person may not be helpful to you, or speak to you where you are at today.

So, if you are hoping that I, as a professional, will finally reveal The 5 Easy Tricks to Overcoming Anxiety—like that masked magician exposing magic’s greatest illusions—I am afraid I will disappoint you.  But, I am here to offer hope, and insight, and anything I can to help you over to the Other Side of Crisis.  

Thanks for reading.