why we do what we do

There's always someone worse off, right?

This is a thought that comes to many of us when we hear the story of someone who had a childhood with a little bit more brutality than our own, or who was in a marriage that was a little bit more volatile than the one we were lucky to escape.  There is always someone out there who gives us a different perspective, or even a reality check when we are mired in self-pity about the things we have had to endure.

My story is not the most dramatic story in the room.  In fact, my story is pretty typical.  Which is why I want to share it, because it resonates with so many who have found themselves in a similar situation as the one I was in.

But, there are others who have suffered so terribly, that anything I have to say seems to be coming from Mrs. Cleaver, as I offer a plate of freshly baked cookies, pearls gently swinging to and fro, as I lean over with the platter, smiling.  My story doesn't resonate.

Then, there are people like Tracey Hallberg.  She openly shares her story of a childhood robbed of security, and happiness, and innocence.  She makes all of us stop chewing the chocolate chip cookie I just offered.  She has a story.  Beaver and Wally are nowhere to be found.  And people listen.

Last night Danielle and I heard the story of a man's childhood that rivaled even Tracey's.  He was beaten, subjected to sexual perversion and abuse between siblings, saw men hanged because of the color of their skin, had a father so brutal that he shot at the feet of a child who walked to closely behind him..his story was difficult to hear.

But, he didn't tell his story to one-up that last guy, and Tracey doesn't tell her story to one-up mine. None of us share what we share for the sake of gaining attention, or for the sake of winning the prize of being the one who has really suffered.

We share what we share because there are many out there who are scared, who are living in their own nightmare, and who need to see that there is not only a way out, but that there is hope out there and life on the other side of Crisis.

In our own way, we have suffered, and we have lived to tell about it.  If you are suffering, you can get out, too.  There are many who have walked your path, who know the way out, and who can help guide you down a better path.  We are but a few, but we're willing to share our stories, if you want to listen.  And if by listening you can learn, and gather the courage to make the changes you need to make to get out, then we'll talk some more.

I share about my life, the people who have helped me, and the places I have been, so that I can be believed.  So that as I offer you that plate of cookies, you might notice a few battle scars here and there, and a smile that never takes for granted the events in my life that have turned my lips upward.  It's a smile I didn't know I could have, and it's a smile I see on the faces of my kids.  I didn't know, when we were in the pit of darkness, that they would ever smile again.

Tracey and I write for people who wear the shoes we used to wear.  And so does Mike Runner.  He just introduced himself for the first time Sunday, but he has more of his story to tell, and there are many who will recognize themselves, or their loved one, in his story.

This is why we write.  Why we put ourselves out there.  Why we paint our pictures with color, and detail, and texture.  So that our story will be something that catches the attention of someone who needs to read it.  Someone who recognizes themselves on the canvas.

If we're not Facebook friends, Friend request me.  I'll accept.  We can message privately.  I will hold our conversation in the strictest of confidence, and I will do what I can to direct you toward getting the help you need.

Life is short.  In this short life, we seem to fall easily into dark places, but just because we've fallen in doesn't mean we have to stay.  Climb on out.  Here.  Take our hand.  Who knows?  You just might be telling your story one day, offering hope to someone else who needs to know that they too can climb out.  And soar.