OK so I haven't been able to keep up with my commitment to write a post daily this month. My life is too busy, I think. It's busy when everything is regular, but once you add in anything extra, or unusual, it gets overwhelmingly hard to handle. Though, I must disclaim I love every minute of it, because it all involves the people I love the most in this world.
So, I don't have time to write much, or even wax eloquent. Today I am thankful for my Blog. It has been such a powerful force in my life. That sounds so melo-dramatic, but it's true, and I can't think of a way to express its power any other way. I just can't tone it down. This Blog has been a good friend.
It has helped me to process so many of my hurts, so many of the things I have learned through my hurts. It has allowed me to re-connect on a deeper level with dear friends and family. It has allowed me to use some of what I have gone through to help others who can relate. It has been that full-circle sort of thing for me, and for that, I am so grateful.
It has also been a way for me to get out a need to a larger audience of people who will pray for us, or who have wisdom, knowledge, and understanding that might lead me in a better direction.
Today, I need to use my Blog for such a reason as this.
My little boy, Lee, will be 7 in a couple of weeks. Lee has had a seizure disorder since before birth, and as a result he is on medication to keep his seizures under control.
In September, his neurologist increased the dosage of his medication, because he had 3 seizures over the summer in spite of being medicated. The increased dosage has kept the seizures at bay. I think.
He has been suffering short-term memory loss. Things that are easy to miss in a little boy. Forgetting to put his shoes away. Forgetting to complete assignments in school. Forgetting to do his chores.
But forgetting that he told me a story about something that happened today at recess? Retelling it 3 times? Or another time, forgetting what my answer was when he asked me a question, and then asking me again? Over and over throughout the day?
How about forgetting that he went potty, or sharpened his pencil, or has the hot chocolate he asked for, ready for him, sitting on the counter? Then, going potty again, and again, or setting out to re-sharpen the sharpened pencil, or asking me when I'm going to make him his hot chocolate? After I told him twice that it was ready?
It's getting noticed. His teachers are bringing things to my attention. I volunteer in his class. A lot. He seems to be a good boy, trying to do his work. Unless it's a bad day. Then, he zones and re-sharpens the pencil, or asks to go to the bathroom again and again.
Yesterday was a bad day. He was great in class in the morning. I left at lunch to take Danielle to class, and to stop in at a candy shop in The Village to order treats for his coming birthday party.
I got a call from the school nurse. Lee was in her office, crying, after they found him crying in line going to lunch. I had just left. He wanted me.
This is not normal. The school nurse and I calmed him on the phone and sent him back to lunch and recess, reminding him that I was coming back to help after lunch. When I got to the school the nurse and principal wanted to discuss it with me, because it was so unusual for Lee to behave this way. I explained that we had seen Puss and Boots Friday, and that Lee had been emotional about an aspect of mother-child separation in the movie. I guessed that maybe the movie triggered some issues he had back when I was a single mom and worked all the time. The principal considered it, and just encouraged me to talk with him to make sure there wasn't a child at school bothering him, or anything like that that might make him not want to go to lunch.
As lunch was over, I went back to his classroom. I found Lee walking back to class from the rest room. He walked over to me, I reached for him for a hug, he hugged me reluctantly (not a cuddler), we started to go inside the class room, and then he said, "No, wait, I have to go potty." He had just come from it. I reminded him, he looked confused, but he came back into the class with me. Potty never came up again.
Homework was a challenge yesterday. It took 45 minutes to complete a simple spelling assignment. He kept doing extra work, rather than the simple work he was supposed to complete. I had a hard time keeping him on task.
This morning, he went potty 3 times, as though he had forgotten he went before. I spent extra time with him, reading on the sofa. I wanted to cuddle, he wanted to sit across the room from me...I was trying to create a special moment before school. We compromised. No cuddling, but he sat next to me. Other than the potty issue, it was a good morning-before-school. I got him dropped off, came back home, no more got into my kitchen, and my phone rang. It was his school telling me that he was crying, wanting me.
We could be dealing with extra clinginess due to him working out confusion about me from his toddler and pre-school years. Maybe he's pre-occupied because of it.
blacking out, so to speak, at times. Like, possibly having seizures, but yet looking like he's with us, but not? Just a theory.
I thought about it last night, for the first time. Then, I asked Lee if he ever has times when he doesn't know how he got somewhere. He looked at me stunned, crossed his arms over his chest tightly, sat back into the sofa, and told me that it happens sometimes. But, that was all he'd give me. Interesting. Since I suggested it to him, I don't know if it really happens, or if he even understood what I meant, though.
I spoke with his neurologist's nurse this morning, and she will discuss my concerns with the doctor and get back to me on whether we should get him in now for an evaluation, rather than wait for his already scheduled evaluation in January.
If you are so inclined, could you please keep him in your prayers? Whatever it is, he is having a hard time right now. So are Hugo and me.
I am going to volunteer in his class in 2 hours. After school, I will talk with his teacher. He is a counselor, as it turns out. Was at Abi's school, actually, but got a pink slip. To keep him in the district, they offered him a part-time teaching gig, teaching Lee's class half the week. But, once a counselor, always a counselor, right?
Thank you for your concern. I can already feel it, and I haven't even hit my Submit button. That's what I love about my Blog. You all.
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