More Than a Step-Dad...A Papi

This morning, as Hugo was walking down the hall on his way to the door, I told Lee, "Papi has to go back to work today."  He shot right back at me, "But it's supposed to be Summer Vacation!"  I said, "I know, but Papi still has to go back to work."  There was a quiet pause.  "I just don't get it," was his dejected reply as he looked down, shaking his head.  We kissed him good-bye, Hugo gave Lee the  morning speech he gives him every day as he leaves (about being a good boy, and making good decisions), and as Lee and I stood at the entrance way, we waved as Hugo drove off.

Back to reality.  It was a fabulous break for Hugo, to get away from having to wake up to an alarm, and then spend long hours at the office.  He had days at home to get things done, as anyone who knows Hugo Ambriz can visualize...he's not one to sit on the sofa channel-surfing.  He's a project man, making the most of his day.

So getting away for six of them was a good call, I'd have to say.  It was so good to put the stresses of home and family on the back burner, and just rest the brain and body.

This family-stress thing is new to the Papi of our House.  He has taken it all in stride, adjusting more completely to his sudden-family than even my greatest dreams could have hoped.  In his pre-family life, he would have a quiet apartment that was neat and clean when he'd leave for work in the morning--and then when he would return home at the end of the day, it would still be quiet, neat, and clean.  Now that he has a family, he has a house that is...lived in.  Always.  And with seven people living here, it isn't quiet.  Ever.

I'm thinking that it helped that he came from a family of seven children.  There was some serious ground-work laid that made the transition more easy, I'm sure.  And they did it with one bathroom.  (Elaine Ambriz is my hero!  She had five girls--and they never left the house without their hair done!!)

I'm a psycho-analyzer by nature.  I'll delve into the deep parts of your psyche so fast, it'll make your head spin.  So, knowing that the transition could be challenging for Hugo, I have checked in on him frequently, feeling him out for hidden stresses to the multiple levels of family rearing that have become common for him.  I've even honed-in on the specific probability of resentment he could feel over working as hard as he does, and seeing his paycheck get sucked away in the vortex of family need.

His response?  Every time I delve?  That even though he had the money at his disposal pre-family to do that which he chose...oh, you know...things like clothes (he has more than me), shoes (he has more than me), travel all over the U.S. to watch cars race around in a circle, music equipment, sound equipment, European travel, generous gifts to his family and friends, picking up the check on office lunches...?  His response, every time, is that even though he had all of those things, he lacked what he wanted more than anything else in the world.  A family.

He sees that with his family, he has purpose.  He is making an impact on the lives of five children that is beyond anything anyone else could give each of them.  He has a unique role...a role with a lasting legacy.  He is their step-father, yes.  But he is far more than the man who loves and married the mother of these children.  He is their Papi.  The man who is on the job.  The man who is doing and living out what dads do.  The man who gets dirty.  The man in the trenches.

This is a topic I think about, and talk about, and write about often.  This topic of Hugo, and his selfless contribution to our lives.  I am in awe.

So yes.  It sucks that he had to put on a tie, and with packed lunch in hand (ummm...yes...the office lunches aren't as frequent these days), walk the path to his car, and join the rush hour traffic.

Maybe, as a thank you, I can provide him with a quiet, neat and clean house to come home to.  Dinner on table.  Stella chilled.  I can try.  I will try.  Sigh.  But it's not likely.  But, he will be greeted at the door, Labrador included, to the hugs and kisses of a family excited to see him.  And I will get the joy of the voyeuristic...sneaking a peek at a man who smiles in return.  With his face, and with his spirit.